Wow, it has literally been years since my last post! So much has happened! I transferred to Morenci in 2010 and spent three years there working. I really enjoyed it and worked with so many great people! In Feb. 2013, I had my baby girl, Dylan Rose Marie. She has curly brown hair and beautiful deep brown eyes. She has an amazing little personality and is more rambunxious than her brother was (if you can believe that). Anyhow, having two kids, managing childcare and commuting was stressful - so I transferred back to Safford. It has almost been a year now that I have been back and it is just as great as before! Now, Wolfie attends preschool and even played T-Ball this year and I was able to be there to take him to practice and games. Time has flown by so fast.
So, speaking of kids, that's what this blog is about. Kids. Nowadays, it seems more and more people are not having kids, are waiting later to have kids and are having fewer kids. Why is this? Well, maybe because kids are alot of work. I don't ever really think too much about it, but lately I have. When I get, home I am trying to make dinner. I have a one year-old crying becaue she is already hungry. I have a four year-old being loud, taunting his sister. I am trying to tend to them but I have to get dinner ready. The water is boiling. Did I put the bread in the oven? Then my phone rings, I try to answer it. I mean, not to dramatize it all, but it can be so stressful! (If you are asking where Todd is, he is at work in this scenario)
I stand back and think how simple, even enjoyable, it would be to cook dinner without all of this chaos. Then when dinner is done, I have to get the kids fed, load the dishwasher, get the kids in the bath, brush their teeth, squeeze in a bedtime story, get them to bed and by that time it is usually 8:30pm. I cannot tell you how many nights I come home and don't sit still or have a moment's peace until almost 9:00. I look back on the days when it was just Todd and I and I had the whole evening to myself, lounging on the couch, skimming through Facebook posts, eating whatever I wanted, doing whatever I wanted. No obligations. No familial responsibilities. No little ones counting on me.
In the chaos, it is also easy (for me anyway) to let my emotions get the best of me. I lose patience. I yell. I get the mean mommy face. I get upset. I get angry. I get beat down. And then I feel guilty. I feel like a bad mom. I feel like I am not cut out for this. I feel like I have failed. It is super easy to feel this way and it stinks.
So anyways, why have kids then? If they are so time consuming, expensive, and cause extra stress, why do it?
Because the first time they say "mama" or "I love you" or fall asleep in your arms or squeeze your hand or giggle or smile your heart feels complete. Seriously, when you have a kid you learn love in a whole new way and discover parts of yourself, your heart that you never knew before. I cannot imagine my life without my kids. No matter what the chaos is, the crying, the screaming, the messes, the guilt - I love my monsters. My kids. My life.
I guess the point of this post is that I had never stopped to think about how much work kids are. When you are a mom, you just do it. Do what you have to do and not look back. People will tell me "I don't know how you do it." And I am taken aback. What do they mean? I just do it. But when you really do consider what parenthood is, the sacrifices, the compromise, the work - it is pretty amazing, I let the bad days, the mistakes and the guilt overshadow all the amazing moments, the blessings and the beauty. I don't give myself enough credit and I bet alot of moms out there don"t either.
So, in conclusion. I am not perfect. Not a perfect mom by any means and I make mistakes. But I am learning, everday. And I get better, everday. And so what if my kids are hyper and can't sign the alphabet. Does that make me a bad mom or them bad kids? No. This whole kid thing is hard, but I am trying my best and I am amazing. My kids are amazing and I think every mom should feel that way. Recognize your parental shortcomings but don't linger on them, learn from them and grow.
Sunday, August 31, 2014 | | 0 Comments
Monday, November 21, 2011 | | 0 Comments
Wow! It has been like 6 months since the last update! I can't believe how fast time has flown. Wolfe is now 10 months old and has grown so much. He has 7 teeth, he is almost walking, he can clap his hands and shake his head, he will occasionally wave good-bye, and he loves to blow razberries with Todd. He has been such a blessing to us. I am sad to realize just how much he has grown already. He will be 1-yr old before we know it!
Thursday, October 28, 2010 | | 1 Comments
7) Todd and I had our 3 year anniversary in April. Cannot believe another year has flown by.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010 | | 2 Comments
Well, I have been back to work for a few weeks now and it was not as bad as I anticipated. It is nice being back and I realize how much I enjoy my job and the people I work with. The baby is such a good sleeper. He wakes up usually only once or twice a night. It is rare when I have to wake up more than that. Some people say I am being spoiled, but I think my baby just loves his sleep as much as mommy and daddy do! Anyways, it sure has made going back to work easier. I still get at least 7 hours of sleep a night, so I can't complain.
Friday, March 12, 2010 | | 0 Comments
Wolfe is almost 7 weeks old now. When we took him to the Dr. today, he was 9lbs. 5oz.! He is getting so big and growing so fast! He is way more alert during the day and no longer fits into any of his newborn clothes. When we went to the urologist, we found out the he has reflux in his "bad" kidney, which sucks because he has to take antibiotics daily. But on a positive note, the urologist also said that it appears that the "bad" kidney is functioning, after all. So, for now we will just monitor his kidneys, and if the "bad" one continues to grow with his body, he will probably live life with two kidneys and they will just fix the reflux when he is 2 years old or so! But if it starts to shrink, they may need to remove it when he is 2. So, we will just keep our fingers crossed, hope for the best, and wait it out.
I have truly enjoyed my time home with him, but unfortunately, I must return to work next week. I am going to be so sad, but that's how it goes. Luckily, we will not need a sitter every single day because Todd is home alot of the time. I know that the real hard work will begin when I have to go back to work because I won't get to take a nap later in the day or lounge around the house if I am feeling lazy. Waking up at 4:30am to get me and baby ready is going to suck, especially if he has had a rough night, but I just have to remind myself that tons of mothers have done it before me and that I just need to suck it up and get the job done. Goodbye sleep, it has been nice knowing you!
Monday, February 08, 2010 | | 1 Comments